Cowboys and Kisses
by miarae
Summary: [ONEPARTER] Songfic. Rory's feelings when Jess leaves, returns, leaves, returns. He's like a friggin' jojo! Kinda AU cause he keeps coming back into her life


**Title:** Cowboys and kisses 

**Summary:** Songfic, unoriginal I know. Rory's feelings when Jess leaves, returns and leaves again. He's not just returning once or twice, but a lot of times so it's kinda "alternate universe".

* * *

_Baggy blue jeans and a box of magazines  
Is all I have of you  
Waitin' for the day you walk back in my life  
Like a newborn child, you made me smile  
Then stole my heart away  
We may be outta touch, but never out of time  
Come back to me boy_

When you left me, you left me with nothing. So little to remember you by. So I started collecting. You left a pair of old jeans at Luke's. It's now in my Jess-box. You left some rockmagazines which I took too. Just something to remember. Something that is tangible, so I know that it wasn't just a recurring dream. You really existed. Your smile, your eyes, they weren't just images I dreamt up.

Every time you come around I will find something else to put in that box. Last time it was a cigarette. It reminds me of that cigarette you didn't light when we kissed. You know, the one at the gaspump. I still remember everything about that night. The way the air smelled, the soft breeze of the wind carressing my cheeks. But most of all I remember your kiss, the way you tasted. You tasted like cigarette, and mint. Probably chewinggum or maybe your toothpaste.

_(Cowboys and kisses)  
Always seem to bring me down  
You're like a weight in my pocket  
Everytime you come around  
Damn those cowboys and kkisses  
Gotta find myself everytime you go away  
_

Every time you leave I need a couple of days to realize that you are really gone. I miss your smile, the way you look at me. The things I can't put in my box. I tried to photograph you but you're never really there. You're always off somewhere I can't follow. Somewhere in your head.

_Holdin on to you like a pair of old shoes  
That you never throw away  
Every road still leads back to you, yeah  
Your little white lies and butterflies made me shed a tear  
Still I'm prayin on the day that you'll be mine (mine)  
_

_Why do all these  
Cowboys and kisses  
Always bring me down  
You're like a weight in my pocket  
Everytime you come around  
Damn those cowboys and kisses  
Gotta find myself everytime you go away  
Yeah  
_

I miss your kisses the most when you're gone. I know I shouldn't want them when you're here, but there's just something about your nearness that makes me feel all tingly inside. Just one look, one grin, can make me want you. How is it possible that I can forget all the reasons I have NOT to kiss you in just one second?

I want to keep you here. In Stars Hollow. I want you to stay here but I know you can't. You're not the type to commit. You need freedom. So I give you that freedom by pretending that what we share are just kisses. Maybe to you they are. Maybe you finally stopped loving me and I'm just someone you come to whenever you need to be held, need to be kissed and want to be wanted. You know I'm always there for you.

_Why do I keep holding you  
When all you do is hurt me?  
All my friends say I should let you go  
So afraid that I might see  
I can't keep on living life like this  
Up and down in and out  
I wonder, is this world just a cowboy and a kiss?  
Or should I choose another?  
_

Lane, mom, even Paris. They all tell me that I have to let you go eventually. They don't understand that I can't. That I still am praying that one day you'll be mine forever. That you'll stay and we'll live happily ever after. They don't know that I'm looking for a deeper meaning in every kiss. Every hug means so much more than just a hug.

Cowboys and kisses  
Always seem to bring me down  
You're like a weight in my pocket  
Everytime you come around  
Damn those cowboys and kisses  
I said I gotta find myself everytime you go away  
Everytime  
Everytime you go away

And because I can't tell you, I show you. My body dances an old dance, trying to persuade your body to dance with me. My kisses whisper of love, and my hugs persuade you to stay one more day. Don't leave just yet. But I know...eventually you always will.

_I gotta find myself everytime you go away  
Everytime  
Everytime you go away_

**Review please!**

**A/N:** This just needed to be written. Blame my muse :P or review and tell me what you thought of it!


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